I went to your school today, Earls Hall Primary, and watched as you beamed your way to the front of the assembly to pick up your Gold reading badge. One hundred entries in your reading journal. And it is well deserved, you are doing great in your quest to learn the joys of the written word. What I like most about it is that you enjoy it. You seem pleased when your reading goes well and it is often your enthusiasm that pushes us on to finish the book, not my insistence. Your grandmother, Nanny Denise, loved to read. She had about a thousand books in her house. I hope that you have inherited her love of reading, as it can be an inspirational thing to read a truly great piece of writing.
Some books I hope you read one day:
- Slowness
- Unbearable Lightness of Being
- The Master and Margarita
- Gormenghast
- All and anything by Kurt Vonnegut
- etc etc ...
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Recently I hear you talking to your younger brother and I hear your mother and I in your voice and your message. Of course, as with all siblings, you still have difficulty controlling your frustration at your brother's stubbornness. He is three, so he is a difficult human being. But you are getting better and better at managing him. Sometimes now, instead of shouting or pushing or arguing, you try to teach him. Or distract him. Or make him laugh. You both get up early in the morning and you set about making breakfast for you both. If Ollie gets distracted, you guide him. If he tries to wake us up, you explain to him the rule,
"Don't wake up Mummy, because then she will be tired. It isn't nice to wake up people when they are sleeping." And when that doesn't work,
"Ollie, come and eat your breakfast, it will make you strong!" And a finally attempt,
"Ollie, Knock Knock. Europe!"
So in general, your are becoming even more of a big brother than you have been. You are beginning to move on from confrontation to persuasion. You are growing.
I myself am having a hard time right now. I am having to learn how to share my life with a family. I am having to learn how to manage the stresses of work, a 4 hour commute, a marriage, two young kids and providing for a household. It is a set of tasks that so many in the world have to undertake, but, for some reason, I don't seem to be able to do it with a smile on my face. So I am working hard to be a better man and to be all I want to be for you, your brother and your mother. But know this. No matter what, it was never you. If I got frustrated, it was my fault. If I argued with you, I should have stopped. If I ever made you feel like I didn't adore you, I failed.
I love you very much and am proud of all that you are. The reader, the school boy, the brother, the artists, the ninja, the racing driver, the footballer, the constructor, the mathematician, the story teller, the dancer, the singer. You are Milan, the beloved, and I love you.
