Let’s talk a little about how most brains are unique. People often say that everyone is an individual, different in what they like, do, and think. Personally, I tend to notice the similarities; I see how most people behave and react in much the same way. I think that’s because I often feel like I don’t behave or react like they do.
It feels a little odd writing this to the "you" I know now, but with the intent that a future version of you will be the one reading it. Right now, the idea of thinking differently is uncomfortable for you. You don’t quite understand why people keep pointing it out. By the time you read this, you will probably know more about this subject than I do today.
When I was growing up, no one talked about these things. I had no one to explain why I never felt like I fit in, or why I couldn't understand why people were interested in the things they were. Eventually, I got very good at mimicking those around me. I learned to play the role of one of the crowd, no matter which crowd I was in. Looking back, I don’t think I was fooling anybody but myself.
Right now, in early 2026, I am starting to see patterns in how your brain interprets the world. You are eleven, and I see you approaching life much like I do. Things that don’t interest you are incredibly hard to give attention to. Time is not granular for you; it is simply "now" or "later." Objects hold little interest, so bottles, coats, gloves, and pens often go missing. (Just yesterday, I left my lunch container and water bottle at the office. So believe me, I get it.)
You have a fierce sense of injustice and you see it everywhere. You feel blamed for things that aren't your fault, and you feel your brother gets favoritisim. Meanwhile, your mind is constantly making connections—not always obvious or conventional ones—sparking ideas that spark other ideas until they are a roaring flame. It isn't something you can control or turn off. Because of this, you find it hard to let go of a thought, especially if you are denied what you want. You get stuck on having your own way, sometimes derailing a whole day in your refusal to move on.
These are the things I recognize in you because I see them in myself. While you have many other unique parts to you, we share these specific traits: we cannot prioritize things that aren't immediate or interesting; we both obsess over ideas or interactions; we are both capable of laser-focus when something captures our attention. We see links between things that others do not. We are both a bit of a mess. Compulsive and takers of risks.
But even in this, we are different. I don’t like being touched unless I’m in the mood for it, whereas you love to be in people’s space. Yet, you struggle with how certain things feel on your body or the texture of food. For you, even brushing your teeth can be a sensory overload. We are two sides of the same coin: similar in our dissimilarities.
Until now, I haven't looked head-on at how my brain truly works. Recently, I have been struggling to succeed in many parts of my life because of it; as a partner, an employee, and most frustratingly, as a father. I see my own reactions reflected back at me through you and your brother. I am realizing now that I play a profound role in shaping how you handle the way your brain processes the world.
This realization requires me to do a few things. I need to understand my own unique brain. I need to learn how to tweak my responses so I can use its potential to achieve what I want. And above all, I need to support you on that same journey.
Let’s see how we get on.
As always, I sign off by reminding you how much I love you. How could the coin not love its other side?
