Dood. 

It has been a year now that we have been living with a pandemic. We have had to hunker down in our little bungalow and live one on top of the other. It has not been easy, but, to be honest, it has not been as difficult as one might expect.

You are growing. Getting taller, your face is thinning and you mind is getting stronger. You are reading better, writing more, have longer conversations and even beginning to understand a little about your emotions. 

What else has changed since last I wrote to you? We have added some rooms to the bungalow, where the loft once was. You and Ollie now have a long room upstairs and seem to be enjoying it! You were unsure to begin with, not liking the idea of being so high up, but you quickly got used to it. 

We are currently reading a series of books about a nasty old man called Mr Gum. 

You and Ollie are enjoying them (and so am I). They are very silly, a bit rude and sometimes a little scary. But also, some parts a very funty (that's how we say funny now we've read the books). 

It can be quite hard, trying to do the best for you and your brother. You are both very demanding, not your fault but still it can be tiring to have to fight you to do things like pick up your toys, clean your teeth, get changed, eat your food, turn off the TV. None of these things were asked of you so that you should feel bad, or to spoil your fun. They are simple requests to help you get on with day to day life. So sometimes mother and I get frustrated and then it does not go well. But your are teaching us. Teaching us how to be more patient. Showing us how even a 6 year old can sometimes calm himself. Teaching us that we cannot control the world or others in it but we can choose how we react to it. 

Also, there is the rest of the time when you are not fighting us. You are adventurous, creative, kind, intelligent, funny and challenging. Really, you are a marvel. I look at you and I see so much potential. If I have done my job well, you should be older now and confident in your own skin. You should know that you are good and you should not fear to fail, as failing is just learning. You should understand that you do not need to shout at the world to control it, you control your reaction to the world to stop it from shouting. Most of all you should have a profound and solid sense that you are deeply loved by myself and your mother. I know right now that wherever you read this, whenever you read this, I am proud of you and that I love you. I can see the future. I know this to be true because my love for you is not conditional and will be a constant in your life. I know this to be true because I was proud of you the day I met you and am proud of you today and will be proud of you tomorrow. 

I was looking at you and your brother last night, sitting on the bed with your mother whilst she read, and I was thinking what a marvellous thing it is that your parents are from such different linage. You two bring together all the strengths and weaknesses of generations of two families that grew in completely different worlds. That makes you strong, in my mind. Whenever your British heritage holds you back, turn to your Peruvian gifts for a way forward. When your Latino blood is causing you problems. delve in to your Britannic ancestors for an alternative approach. Not to mention it has made you beautiful! 

I am hoping that this time together in the Pandemic, as you are home schooling and I am working from home, is serving to cement our bond, one that began with you as a baby. I have had the huge fortune to have been able to spend a lot of time with you these past 6 years and it is my hope that this has stamped an impression of each other into our very beings. It turns out I am someone who needs his own space, who needs to have time on his own, with his own thoughts and company. So I often seek refuge from the noise, movement and intimacy that is other people. However, that does not mean that I do not need people and that I am unable to be close to others. Your morning hugs are the sweetest breakfast and our moments together, either on the sofa, on the bed, you on my lap watching football on the laptop. are moments I cherish and that feel comfortable and nurturing. We so often encourage the future to come quicker, but I know that I will miss those moments when, to soon, they are not longer part of my day. 

It's 5:43 now and I am expecting you to come down any time. I'll sign off for now. 

Love you, my boy.